‘Addressing wounds’

Worship leader Jackie Angel brings her message of healing to St. John Neumann

By Bee Goodman

St. John Neumann Parish in Farragut hosted a special evening from the Catholic Women’s Team of Knoxville. The Oct. 21 event featured guest speaker Jackie Angel, who spoke to women about addressing emotional trauma and how to move forward.

Mrs. Angel is a full-time worship leader, vlogger, author, singer-songwriter, and devoted wife to Bobby Angel. She’s also a mother of five.

The Tuesday-night event saw strong attendance, with many women on hand to listen to Mrs. Angel’s talk, “Addressing Our Wounds.”

Mrs. Angel shared how emotional wounds often halt the ability to grow and can hinder a relationship with faith. She told of challenges she faced after growing up with parents who were less supportive than most. Because of this she never felt that she was good enough, or just the opposite—she was too much. Just as with many women, this can lead to a strong desire for assurance—often leading them to the arms of someone or something that cut their wounds deeper. But Band-Aids don’t fix bullet holes.

Mrs. Angel also addressed her search for the right partner before marrying her husband, Bobby, who is a Catholic author, speaker, and certified mentor for the CatholicPsych Institute, with more than 20 years of experience in ministry. She shared how she longed to be fulfilled as a person after finding her “prince charming.”

She noted how Mr. Angel is her best friend. He respects her, he builds her up—things that are great and important, but she still felt as though something was missing. She thought her situation was pushing toward marriage, and once she was a wife and mother she’d be perfect, she’d be worth something. But even after they married, she still sought more.

Through her faith, she found the companionship and fulfillment she’d always been looking for. She found a friend in Jesus. And she has been able to use faith in everything she does, from parenting to podcasts.

Jackie and Bobby Angel work together hosting their podcast, “Conversations with Jackie and Bobby,” where they invite guests to cover a variety of topics in a casual, “long chat” format, as mentioned on their website. Mrs. Angel also hosts another show separate from her husband about learning Scripture.

The Memorize Scripture podcast is exactly what it sounds like, a tool to help listeners learn and memorize Scripture. Each month the podcast covers a particular topic addressed in Scripture. As episodes are posted, listeners are tasked to memorize one part of Scripture a week. Episodes usually are close to three minutes long and do not require deep dives into Scripture. In addition to the podcast, Mrs. Angel also has written a book titled Memorize Scripture: Simple Steps to Pray, Ponder, and Practice God’s Word.

The Angels’ website storefront describes the book as “a 12-month journey into the timeless beauty and transformative power of Scripture memorization. With 120 carefully selected verses, each organized into 12 thematic chapters, Jackie equips you with practical tools to make memorization simple, meaningful, and accessible.”

Mrs. Angel talks about how her family life while growing up has made her who she is as a mother.

She was raised by her Catholic mother and atheist father. Her father wasn’t the emotional type and didn’t take the time to build his children’s confidence. She recalled that she “never had Daddy tell her that she was a pretty little girl.” And her mother would often make comments about her body that made her feel bad about herself, not because her mother was trying to put her down but just a comment about how she could be something better “if only I tried harder.”

Reflecting that pain, Mrs. Angel ensures her kids know they are loved, even when they are throwing tantrums and getting into trouble.

She remembers a time her daughter was being disciplined for hitting her brother, sharing how as a child her daughter internalized the thought that when she did bad things, her parents didn’t love her anymore. So, Mrs. Angel told her, “Mommy and Daddy love you even when you do bad things.”

Later, Mrs. Angel was preparing for her mother to visit when her daughter asked if she was trying to impress “Gigi” (Mrs. Angel’s mother). When Mrs. Angel explained she was trying to get a room ready for Gigi, her daughter asked, “She’s your mommy and she’ll love you no matter what, right?” This showed Mrs. Angel that her daughter “understood that a mommy and daddy should love their kids no matter what.”

She continued to say how she has noticed many Catholics can lose sight of God’s unconditional love by thinking they are only loved by God when they continue to pray the rosary, regularly go to confession, and attend daily Mass—they must earn God’s love. She pointed out the mistake: “If you have to earn someone’s love, that also means you can lose their love. And that’s not how God works.”

Just as Mrs. Angel shares her love with her kids, God loves His children even when they sin, noting that we are His children and that insecurities are not the only wounds people bear.

Many women have suffered from abuse, which can have a lasting impact, according to Ms. Angel. There’s an inability to trust from the fear it could happen again. The isolation for protecting oneself creeps in until it’s too much to bear. Leaving an abusive relationship can be just as hard as going through it, especially if children are involved.

Many mothers must reface their abuser every time they drop their kids off with their father. And many don’t have the financial means to start over. Just as the feelings of insecurities can hinder a woman from reaching her potential, they also strain a relationship with the Lord.

Some girls are forced to endure abuse at an early age, and it has dramatic effects on their ability to give and receive love, from friends and family, and God, research has shown. Just like an orchid, the trauma they carry demands constant and tiresome care.

Mrs. Angel described how the devil wants us to keep our wounds in the dark, where it can harm us—just as it would harm an orchid. The reason, Mrs. Angel explained, is “the devil wants us to keep all this stuff in the dark because that’s where he gets his power over it.”

She explained that the only combat against the darkness and Satan is light, so bringing out pain into the light is the first step toward healing. She compared it to gold.

“When gold is refined, it is heated into liquid and all of the impurities rise to the top and are thrown out. This happens over and over again until the goldsmith knows it’s pure when he can look at his reflection. That is what God is doing with our hearts,” she said. “We are being refined over and over and over again. Our sins are coming to the top; our wounds are coming to the top; our brokenness is coming up. God is refining us into something pure.”

As the faithful allow themselves to open up and come to the light, they are forced to face their pain and to let it out.

Mrs. Angel gave this reminder: “The beautiful thing is Jesus does not abandon us in the pain. He is right there with us. And in those really painful moments of our lives where all that stuff is coming to the top, Jesus asks us to give it to Him.”

At St. John Neumann, Mrs. Angel offered insight on why people sin within their search for love. She explained that as people seek out love from other places, they find themselves covered in sin. As they search for happiness, they take the quickest route to get it even though it’s only temporary.

“It felt good to eat a whole cheesecake, and now it doesn’t feel so good. It felt good in the moment to do this with this person, but now it doesn’t make sense. That’s what sin does. … We look for love in all the wrong places.”

From childhood, everyone carries wounds into adulthood that hinder the ability to see and accept God’s love. People tell themselves, “I’m not pretty enough or I’m not smart enough,” or the opposite, and then feel they should be punished for who they are.

And while people are human, and they sin, there is a wonderful and loving God who wants His children to seek Him out and accept His love. Sin is forgiven out of God’s love.

Mrs. Angel explained how people have a natural need for approval and love from others. “Each one of us has a deep desire to be loved, and that’s a good desire. It’s a good desire that we want to be seen. It’s a good desire that we want someone to know us and love us no matter what.”

“That’s the deepest desire in our hearts. And the thing is, we know that when we take that to God. God does know us and loves us and sees us. And He has known us since before our conception. He knows every hair on our head,” she said.

Mrs. Angel recalled that as her parents raised her, she felt that she could be loved only when she was accomplishing something. She had to have the best grades; her clothes needed to be nice and fit well. She felt that she had to earn their love.

This was something that she wanted to improve on with her own children.

“For my two oldest daughters, I say this to them, ‘why do I love you?’ And I have them say to me, ‘because I’m your daughter.’ Then, I go, ‘That’s right,’” she said.

“Do I love you because you’re good at piano? No. I say, ‘Do I love you because you’re good at math? No. I say, ‘Why do I love you?’ And they go, ‘Because I’m your daughter.’ And I say that’s right.”

The Angels also co-wrote a devotional for married couples who want to have a strong start to their marriage or revitalize a marriage of several years. The 2017 title, Forever: Marriage Devotional, takes inspiration from Pope John Paul II’s Theology of the Body. Mrs. Angel’s husband also has written several other books about faith restoration, recovery, discernment, and other faith topics.

While women of all ages attended her talk in Farragut, Mrs. Angel was speaking particularly to women of marriage and child-bearing age. Her platform primarily covers women’s life before and after marriage and motherhood. She and husband cover marriage topics together and offer advice to their audience.

Some of those attending Mrs. Angel’s talk were students from St. John XXIII Parish on the University of Tennessee-Knoxville campus. Many of them said they “look up to Jackie because she’s a good example of a strong relationship and (she) isn’t afraid to address questions that many of us (young women) have.”

One of the young female students said, “I really connect with Jackie because when she was talking about her family and how she grew up, I could really see myself as a little girl and how I’m still that little girl and still need all that love I was missing then. She talked about remembering to love ourselves and let ourselves be loved because we still are those little girls, just in an older body. I think that was really important because we carry our problems all our life and if we remembered to be patient with ourselves and, you know, gave things to Jesus, we’d have so much light in our hearts.”

The Angels also have a YouTube series in collaboration with Ascension, a Catholic media network that aims to present “truth and beauty of the Catholic faith by serving parishes, schools, small groups, and individuals through innovation resources and powerful media.”

The Angels’ series hosted by Ascension can found on YouTube at tinyurl.com/2pvecpkd. Mrs. Angel’s social media platform is geared toward relationship advice for women. She speaks about dating and marriage, motherhood, chastity, and how to make God a priority in relationships and daily life. Her most popular platform is Instagram, where she frequently posts short videos, or reels, giving advice on any of these topics.