A loving option

Catholic Charities’ adoption ministry event brings adopting families together

By Bill Brewer

An East Tennessee barn dance with a family reunion. They go together like sweet iced tea and pork barbecue.

Catholic Charities of East Tennessee’s second annual Barn Dance fundraiser for its A Loving Option Adoption ministry turned into just that on Sept. 20 at Knoxville Catholic High School.

A team of dedicated volunteers converted the school’s gym into a barn atmosphere, replete with hay bales, pumpkins, handmade quilts, square-dancing—and jeans with cowboy boots. There were lots of blue jeans and boots.

But the most eye-catching scene of the evening was the introduction of five infants and their newly adopted parents who are the early success stories of Catholic Charities’ A Loving Option Adoption service.

The young families were introduced during the Barn Dance program, offering tangible evidence of the impact adoption can have in the 36 East Tennessee counties served by Catholic Charities.

It was the first time the families had gathered together, brand-new moms exchanging notes and stories about baby bottles, diapers, sleeping patterns, and all the adorable things their little ones are doing. And there were the proud dads cradling their young charges for all to admire.

It was a moment of pride for Catholic Charities staffers who have worked to get A Loving Option Adoption up and running since its inception in 2022. Deacon David Duhamel, executive director of Catholic Charities of East Tennessee, praised the adoption ministry staff on its care for and commitment to birth mothers and the adoptive families. He also praised Catholic Charities employees for their dedication to life at all ages and stages.

“Since last year’s Barn Dance, we have seen so much good fruit. Our agency has matched and placed seven beautiful babies with their adoptive families since last November. Our most recent baby was born in July. And by the end of this year, all seven of those placements will be finalized,” said Chasity Galyon, program manager for A Loving Option Adoption. “Beyond that, we’ve also walked alongside mothers who, after receiving our support, ultimately chose to parent—and we count that as a win, too, because they were given care, resources, and the dignity of real choice.”

Ms. Galyon emphasized that highly intensive case management is provided to the birth mothers served by A Loving Option Adoption.

“So many of them need assistance with things like insurance, transportation to prenatal appointments, a support person in the delivery room, or someone to care for their other child while they attend appointments,” she noted. “I wish I could fully convey the depth of all that goes into what we do in our roles. Just know that our goal is always to honor birth moms, bless adoptive families, and seek the very best interest of each precious baby with every decision we make.”

‘Our greatest privilege in life’

Ms. Galyon presented the adoptive families in attendance to those at the fundraiser. They included Susie and Jonathan Benz and their son, Jonathan Tytan, who goes by JT, and Heather and Caleb Bolton and their son, Reid.

“Both of these families have powerful stories to share about the gift of adoption and the impact of this agency,” Ms. Galyon said.

The Benz and Bolton families shared their captivating adoption stories with those attending the Barn Dance. All ears were on Mrs. Benz and Mrs. Bolton while all eyes were on Mr. Benz holding JT and Mr. Bolton holding Reid.

“JT’s claim to fame here is that he was the first child adopted through A Loving Option. He is almost 2, and it is our greatest privilege in life to be able to raise him. He is an absolute joy,” Mrs. Benz said, sharing the couple’s special news with the audience. “We are also waiting to adopt our second child, and JT is as ready for that as we are. He is pumped about babies!”

Mrs. Benz acknowledged that she and her husband had many questions when first considering adoption.

“The first questions we had for the agency related to how birth parents are cared for,” she said. “First of all, are they ethical, and second, do they prioritize educating the parents regarding their options? Third, will they coach us through the best ways to communicate with a birth family?”

“We chose A Loving Option because of their answers to those questions, which made us feel confident that the birth family and the child would be prioritized and respected,” Mrs. Benz added.

She noted that JT’s birth mother chose a closed adoption, so she and her husband were unable to meet her. However, the Benzes were comforted to know that Ms. Galyon and Erin Mobley, who is a birth parent specialist with A Loving Option Adoption, were caring for the birth mother.

“They (Ms. Galyon and Ms. Mobley) feel like family to us. The excellent work they do takes time, blood, sweat, tears, and quite frankly lots of money,” Mrs. Benz said, offering that she and her husband experienced a “complicated, disrupted adoption” a year ago where the birth mother was able to keep her child because of the care of A Loving Option Adoption.

“This took several weeks of hard, emotional work on their part. They were there with us and with her every step of the way, going above and beyond what we ever expected or hoped for. They were there with us and the birth parents into the wee hours of the night. We are so grateful for their efforts on our behalf, and for their ability to show up for families in need,” she remarked.

Mr. and Mrs. Bolton had a similar experience with A Loving Option Adoption, which prompted Mrs. Bolton to share their story.

“My whole life I wanted to be a mother. When I was a little girl, I would pretend I was a mom with many children. What always stood out to my mother was that I pretended I was adopting my baby dolls. Adoption has always been in the back of my mind. Looking back, I know that was the Lord preparing my heart for what was to come even at a young age,” Mrs. Bolton said. “When we finally decided to inquire about adoption, a friend did a search of Tennessee adoption agencies for me. She had adopted before in another state but knew what to look for in an agency. I called the first one on the list. It was A Loving Option.”

Like the Benzes, the Boltons had many questions for the A Loving Option Adoption staff as they considered bringing a child into their home.

“Our adoption was a whirlwind. The Lord was with us every step of the way, and so was Chasity. We had so many questions. And never at any point did she make us feel like we were bothering her. Every e-mail, phone call, every text was answered with compassion and patience. She became part of our family,” Mrs. Bolton said.

She described their adoption as “anything but conventional.”

“We walked into the hospital with the birth mom as she was admitted. Chasity walked in with us and stayed the entire time. She never left, not once,” Mrs. Bolton said. “Erin was also there for the birth mother. Since we were in the hospital with that family, we were able to see how she interacted with the birth mom. It was beautiful. The love, care, and compassion she displayed toward this young girl was truly a representation of Christ’s love.”

Both the Benzes and Boltons were impressed at how giving and attentive Ms. Galyon and Ms. Mobley were during the adoption process.

“These two ladies never left. They never complained about the long days or the sleepless nights. They were there for us. They were truly the hands and feet of Jesus. They ministered to us during such an emotional, uncertain, and fearful time,” Mrs. Bolton shared. “I will forever be grateful for these two women, their ministry, and this organization. Without them following the leading of our Lord, we would not be parents to our beautiful son today. We thank them for listening to the voice of God. May God richly bless this organization and their ministry.”

Ms. Mobley told emotional stories of working with birth mothers as they go through the adoption process. In walking with those mothers, Ms. Mobley spoke of how certain things trigger memories of the mothers and the sacrifices they make for their babies.

“The smell of French fries will forever remind me of (a birth mother’s) deep faith, dimpled smile, and the sacrifices she made to bring her baby safely into this world despite her own personal tragedies,” she said, encouraging the audience to say a prayer for that mother and others like her who may need an advocate and an understanding voice.

She shared that Subway cookies remind her of a young mother who was judged on social media for being pregnant and deciding to place her baby with adoptive parents.

“I ask you to say a prayer for this mom who was misunderstood and felt the weight of shame. Shame dies when stories are told in safe places. Please pray for her and for future moms who need to find safe places,” Ms. Mobley said. Other seemingly simple things, like ladybugs, white noise machines, and hourglasses, are instant reminders to Ms. Mobley of young mothers in crisis as they desperately reached for someone to hold while they contemplated keeping their baby or placing it for adoption.

“Please pray for mothers to be able to find safe people in their community to help process this grief and for future moms who may carry crushing secrets as well. Please pray for all the moms who are abandoned, ostracized from family, and exposed in other ways they never wanted. Please pray for birth moms’ physical and emotional fragility and for the physical and emotional safety of future birth moms as well,” she said.

“Finally, there are the tears in a bottle. When I look at these incredible children, I remember the honor and privilege of being present at each of their births, and I do not take lightly the trust birth parents bravely extend both to this agency and to the adoptive families. We are called to be His hands, His feet, and His heart, and as we serve and display the truth of Psalm 56:9, which promises He has collected all our tears in a bottle and He keeps count of all of our troubles,” Ms. Mobley said.

“I ask you to pray for His grace as we seek to demonstrate to these moms that they are seen, they are loved, and their stories are held by the One who holds the stars. He redeems all, and His redemption is shining through the adoptive families today,” she concluded.

For more information about Catholic Charities of East Tennessee’s A Loving Option Adoption ministry, go to alovingoptionadoption.org.