New Day program offers the promise of healing and hope amid bereavement after a loss
The East Tennessee Catholic
When a tubal pregnancy in 1997 derailed her world, Rita Reali needed support from her faith community. But not everyone was helpful. And some were outright inconsiderate.
“Week after week, I’d sob through the entire Mass,” said Mrs. Reali, a Connecticut native, recalling the early weeks after her loss. “One day, a woman in the pew behind me commented, ‘I don’t know why she even bothers coming if all she’s going to do is sit there and cry!’”
Fortunately, the Archdiocese of Hartford Family Life Office offered help. Dominican Sister Mauryeen O’Brien had overseen a thriving bereavement ministry in Connecticut and Rhode Island since the mid-1980s. Her outreach efforts included support groups and seasonal retreats. There, Mrs. Reali found the emotional support she needed and the resources she needed to heal.
In 1998, under the direction of pastoral associate Sister Ellen McNulty, OP, of St. Ann Parish in New Britain, Conn., implemented the New Day bereavement-support program. The nine-week program offered a Christ-centered path toward healing.
After participating in the inaugural program at her parish, Mrs. Reali joined Sister Ellen and three other laywomen as a co-facilitator of subsequent New Day groups.
“I’d read somewhere you’re never given a problem without a gift for you in its hands,” Mrs. Reali said. “The gift my loss held in its hideous hands was compassion for others experiencing loss.”
Father Christopher M. Tiano, then-pastor at St. Ann, praised Sister Mauryeen’s compassion and innovation in the field of grief work, adding that his current parish (St. Paul VI in Hamden, Conn.) recently started a bereavement ministry.
“Her book and her extensive training touched so many of the people in the archdiocese,” Father Tiano said. “She was groundbreaking in her work in bereavement—with those who were recently bereaved and long term. Even though she’s passed away, her work continues in the archdiocese.”
And now even beyond Connecticut.
Upon relocating to Tennessee in late 2013, Mrs. Reali and her husband, Frank, found a warm faith community at St. Alphonsus Parish in Crossville. Over the past few years, Mrs. Reali said she had felt a call toward establishing a bereavement-support group at her Crossville parish.
“During a Council of Catholic Women brainstorming session in June 2024, that was one of the ideas advanced. Having had prior experience in that ministry, I offered to head it up,” she said. “The others agreed, so I talked to Father Mark [Schuster] about getting it off the ground.”
After she presented The New Day Journal to her pastor, he reviewed the program, approved it as being in line with diocesan guidelines, and told her to make it a reality.
Mrs. Reali and licensed therapist Lisa Briggs, a fellow parishioner, promoted New Day with notices in the church bulletin, on a video display in the church narthex, and by word of mouth.
The fledgling bereavement ministry’s inaugural group consisted of six participants who met in an empty classroom inside the parish hall.
“It was small compared with the 12 to 15 we had at St. Ann, but we’ll take whoever God sends us,” Mrs. Reali said, noting it took a couple weeks for people to feel comfortable sharing their stories.
The response from participants overwhelmed her, and their transformation was astonishing. The first week, people came in with drooping shoulders and teary eyes. By the fourth week, sessions featured more laughter than tears. By the end, everyone entered the parish office laughing and smiling.
“That’s the power of God at work through people,” Mrs. Reali said. “It’s such a blessing to walk alongside people in their grief.”
The program has since hosted four more groups in both the evening and the afternoon to accommodate people with possible schedule conflicts. Another session is slated for the fall.
Participants come from a variety of backgrounds, ages, and stages of the grief process. Past members’ losses have ranged from a few months to several decades. The important component is their having sought a way to navigate their grief on the way to healing and wholeness.
Facilitators maintain confidentiality of all participant information. Anything said in a session stays within the room. This gives members confidence to reveal private information, secure in the knowledge it won’t be shared outside the group. This fosters camaraderie and, often, members reach out to each other during sessions with advice or suggestions on what may have helped them.
Members have even asked to share contact information among themselves so they could meet socially outside of the group.
“I’ve noticed folks who used to sit alone at Mass now sit together—and that really warms my spirit,” Mrs. Reali said. “It’s heartening to see friendship bonds form within the group environment and blossom afterward.”
New Day is a Catholic program, developed by a Catholic Sister, following Catholic ideals and principles, but non-Catholics are welcome. Prior non-Catholic participants in St. Alphonsus’ New Day groups have reaped some of the greatest benefits. One participant converted to Catholicism through the parish’s RCIA process in 2025.
Some participants had previously taken part in other grief groups offered across Cumberland County but said they found New Day “far superior” from a healing perspective.
One said she found the other group “more of a gripe session” than a healing program. Another reported when she tried to discuss her grief at a meeting, the facilitator told her to “quit complaining.” She stopped attending and signed up for New Day.
Another member even joyfully proclaimed Mrs. Reali and Ms. Briggs “the Lennon and McCartney of grieving.”
Past participants have commented enthusiastically about their experiences with New Day.
“It exceeded my expectations,” said one. “Everyone is different and their grief journey will be different. I saw and experienced that. It helped me feel OK with where I am.”
Another commented, “I did not expect to come to such wonderful feelings of peace because my grief was hidden deep in my thoughts.”
A third added, “I feel everyone who is grieving could learn a lot from this and that would make them feel better about what they’re going through.”
Others cited appreciation for the opportunity to speak freely, to feel heard and understood by the facilitators, and be affirmed in the normalcy of their feelings.
The program is offered at no cost to the bereaved, and the parish’s Knights of Columbus council supplies The New Day Journal workbooks.
“These folks have just been through a horrible loss,” said Council 8152 Grand Knight John Peaslee. “Why make them shell out money for a healing program when it’s something we can offer to them?”
St. Alphonsus Parish pastor Father Adam Royal said New Day is a great addition to the parish’s roster of outreach ministries.
“The New Day program has proven to be a tremendous blessing for our parish community,” Father Royal said. “The fruits are undeniable: renewed joy, deeper faith, and a sense of being truly seen and supported. I would welcome seeing this ministry expand throughout our diocese.”
To that end, Mrs. Reali said she would be happy to meet with parish representatives interested in establishing and facilitating New Day programs at their own parishes.
“I want to further Sister Mauryeen’s mission,” she said. “I’m confident she’d have felt gratified, knowing the ministry she founded 40 years ago had spread halfway across the country to help others heal.”
Text Rita Reali at 860-796-9106 for information on starting the New Day program in your parish.